There's cool and then there's cool. McCain is a war hawk cabinet guy, not a President. He has no
idea about What's Going On like Obama does.
I know the rule: no sex, no politics, no religion at work but
as De La Soul said, Stakes Is High so I have to think about our salon and which candidate is best for us to move forward both personally and as a business (health
care, taxes, SBA regulations, etc).
Go to Vote Gopher to find out what issues align you with which candidate. Its pretty, pretty, pretty cool. Oh yeah, we came out
Obama. Nothing against McCain of course. He's on it. He rebutted his "being out of touch with the
American people" by snagging an Alaskan for a running mate. Last I checked, Alaska is about as far removed from
day to day America as you can get and Palin's close colleuge is the nut bag Sen. Ted Stevens who said the internet was
"a series of tubes". By the way, he was recently indicted by a Federal Grand Jury on corruption in Alaskan politics
and Palin is nowhere near any of that.....Nice choice McCain.
Gray's Papaya - the best hotdog stand ever. Mango Fruit Smoothie, 2 dogs - $4. Amazing. Oh yeah, Obama
is the man too.
It started with Eddie Vedder at The Riverside. Lotsa Chicago vibes floating around. Not bad in the scheme of vibing. Coulda been weird old lady vibes
(felt these at an estate sale recently) or scary deer hunter/harley dude vibes (felt these at Wick's earlier as the Pabst
refillables were being carted away to a Harley Fest something or other).
But it got me thinking about regional music and how certain areas of our country revere
certain musicians that other areas of the country can't stand. It also got me thinking about their equalizer: another
huge regional band that is damn close to the cliched, cheesiness of the inexplicable regional star but for some reason, don't
get met with the same scorn. Why is this important you ask? I have no idea. These are bar room conversations
but whatever. I'm a dog so be happy I speak your language now sound the trumpets, I'm having a thought:
East
Coast Inexplicable Star - Billy Joel. This is mainly a Northeast thing. And a Jew thing (I can call
out my own kind). And a Long Island thing. OK, let me start again. Long Island Jews: Billy Joel. How the Piano
Man has survived all these years boggles my mind. Its the epitome of cheesy 80 crap that made shows like Dallas and
Dynasty so popular. He did pull Christy Brinkley which is amazing but turn on the radio and hear "bottle of red,
bottle of white....." and all those cool points fly out the window.
East Coast Equalizer:
Simon and Garfunkel. Just as Jewy but has an element of cool to it. Mrs. Robinson / The Graduate / Central Park
1980 show -amazing. Drunk and stoned Billy Joel driving his car across Martha Stewarts Hamptons lawn party with a lampshade
on his head, wait, that's amazing too but god damn his music is terrible.
Midwest Inexplicable Star
- John Cougar Mellencamp. Small Town - boring. Hurts So Good - its the story of the night Jack and Diane
got fresh with each other. Jack and Diane? Two teenage jean-tuxedoed rednecks who hooked up and have some co-dependency
issues. Somehow, J Cougar romanticized this, making passive aggressive stay-together-at-all-costs relationships acceptable.
Without him, strip clubs wouldn't be nearly as successful. Damn it JCM, you are the reason I cash my check at The
Airport Lounge.
Midwest Equalizer: Violent Femmes. Stark, hard working, hipster, real. Three dudes, angsty problems, no apparent solutions aka a slice of real
life. Granted this holds true for just their first album and about 1/3rd of their Greatest Hits but man, when they hit
it, its on.
Southern Inexplicable Star: All Modern
Country. What the F is going on here? Johnny Cash is digging himself out of his grave like Uma in Kill Bill as
we speak. Who are these people and why do they all end up on day time talk shows blabbing about the same shit: family,
church, their ole gee-tar, extra humble awww-shucks stories about playing the songs the lord blessed him with, ad naseum.
Johnny Cash played Folsom Prison, Toby Keith played Oprah. Don't even argue with me.
Southern Equalizer: Tie: Willie Nelson and ZZ Top. I'd like to put Skynyrd
and The Allman Bros on here as classic Southern but they are rolling with a bunch of fill ins and ringers these days so its
hard to pull the trigger. While no one can really name a Willie song aside from On The Road Again, he played Bonnaroo
which is an automatic hall pass for coolness and ZZ Top have been melting faces for 20+ years. Green Day should open
for them to see how a real power trio rolls.
West Coast Inexplicable Star: The Eagles. Ugh.
That cab scene in The Big Lebowski sums it up. Similar to late-era Genesis, the drummer as the lead singer compounds your suck factor to epic proportions.
West
Coast (USA) Equalizer: Guns N Roses mother F-er! Appetite For Destruction era of course but you
knew that.
Where do we go now,
Otis
